"Granted, none of the big-time networks or media outlets or corporate sponsors would care about such a silly thing like "being a student," but this is something that all of us Big Ten fans can be -- and should be -- very proud of."

For the better part of five years now, the media really hasn’t been that kind to the Big Ten. Mostly — actually, check that, COMPLETELY — because all it cares about in collegiate athletics is football and men’s basketball, and for some reason these nincompoops think that “the Big Ten is down” in these disciplines. But I’ll tell ya what. On a day to get all mushy and reflect on who and what you’re thankful for, I came to thinkin’ … The oldest conference in America has been really good to us this past year. Here’s the Top 5 Big Ten Things I’m Thankful For In 2009:

5. JIM TRESSEL - I know, I know, the man hates coaching in big games more than maize and blue sweater vests, but USC’s tank job this season reminded just how good of a job Tressel has done in Columbus. There are a handful of coaches that can get Top 10 recruiting classes every year: Pete Carroll, Urban Meyer, Bob Stoops, Jim Tressel, and whoever’s at Notre Dame. Does this always translate into a Top 10 performance ON the field? Ask Charlie Weis, who could only win six games this year and will be sitting on his couch in a month wondering whether Lays’ potato chips or Hostess Twinkies are a better remedy for unemployment. Ask Bob Stoops, who loses his star QB and quickly discovers that without his prized possession, he’s not a good enough coach to keep all his other 5-star athletes in the Top 25. Or ask Pete Carroll, who might have the most talent in the country year-in and year-out, how hard it is to win 10 or 11 games with a freshman quarterback (Matt Barkley). Then ask him to call up Jim Tressel, because he might have some sound advice considering he accomplished that feat merely 12 months ago. My point is this: Everyone likes big-time calls in big games and sexy wins over sexy opponents, but those will even themselves out eventually. The real coaching feat is consistently representing your program in these big games, and Jim Tressel is arguably the best coach in America at getting that done.

4. INSTANT REPLAY - Yes, it still doesn’t matter in the SEC because the refs are told to make sure Alabama and Florida win every game, but it has really helped the rest of the country. Game after game, no matter the conference, a big play is reversed in favor of the correct call. I can’t help but remember that it was Jim Delaney and the Big Ten who rolled the dice on this innovative technology. Gradually, the country has adopted this move, and college football is a much better place for it.

3. MICHIGAN STATE BASKETBALL - Talk about an answer to “the Big Ten is down.” Michigan State erased the Big 12’s best team (Kansas) and the Big East’s best team (Louisville) in back-to-back games en route to the Final Four in March. Those wins prompted this response from Digger Phelps, who, by the way, had said before the tournament that Louisville was the best team in the best conference in basketball: “Yeah, they may have beaten Louisville, but Connecticut will be too much for them. They’re too athletic for the Spartans.” Wait, so now Connecticut is the best team in basketball, Digger? Now that your precious Cardinals are out? Nice flip-flopping, you stereotypical TV analyst, you. And oh, by the way, who was the “more athletic” team on the floor in Detroit in that MSU v. UCONN tilt? The Spartans were, en route to an easy 82-73 win over the top-seeded Huskies. Sparty would then fall to a phenomenal UNC team that played a near-perfect game, but it was one helluva ride.

2. ACADEMICS - The Big Ten Conference continues to be the best model for the “student-athlete” designation. In football, it’s no different. For the fifth straight year, the Big Ten led all conferences in the number of Academic All-Americans, and we have one less team than most of the other power conferences. Granted, none of the big-time networks or media outlets or corporate sponsors would care about such a silly thing like “being a student,” but this is something that all of us Big Ten fans can be — and should be — very proud of.

1. DYNASTIC WOMEN - ESPN’s BottomLine is finally starting to get the hint. A couple of weeks ago, the Penn State women’s volleyball team moved past John Wooden’s — I’ll repeat, John Wooden’s — UCLA Bruins basketball teams for fourth all-time on the consecutive wins list. The Nits are still going, and now sit in 2nd place all time, needing about 30 more wins to eclipse the record-setting Florida men’s tennis team (137 dubs in a row in the 50’s and 60’s) for the best winning streak ever. But the Big Ten isn’t done with winning women. Northwestern will throw not one, but two dynasties into the mix. NU’s women’s lacrosse team is the only lacrosse team (men or women) outside of the east coast to win a lacrosse national championship, and they’ve now won FIVE national titles in a row! Some more Wildcat women, Northwestern’s tennis team, have won 13 Big Ten titles in a row. What?! This year, they go for 14, which would tie a record for consecutive conference titles by any collegiate sports team.

Football

Dan Persa set all kinds of records in Pennsylvania as a high school dual-threat QB. So why doesn't he get an opportunity to run an inept Northwestern attack?

For weeks now, I’ve been thinking about writing this article. Going into this football season, I went through Northwestern’s schedule and tried to envision how the W’s and L’s would play out. I thought the ‘Cats had a lot of potential this season, the making of possibly another 9-3 campaign, or maybe even a 10-2 posting. But it was clear early, against much weaker non-conference foes, that this season’s team was not going to be nearly as formidable as I once thought.

Still, I don’t want to be “that fan” who groans and grumbles at the first signs of his or her team under-performing. I don’t want to be like the Michigan fans who threw the great Lloyd Carr unfairly under the bus. I don’t want to be last week’s Ohio State choir who quickly and rudely turned on a sophomore QB (Terrelle Pryor) who’s letter of intent had more drool on it than Joe Paterno’s favorite t-shirt. But, unfortunately, I think I might be morphing into the very fan that I despise.

You see, there’s essentially nothing wrong with NU QB Mike Kafka. On the football field, he’s tall, he’s got quiet feet in the pocket, he manages the game well, and he exudes passion. Even off the field, he says the right things, he’s well-mannered, and he’s a good student. But every Saturday, when I watch my beloved ‘Cats come to the line of scrimmage, there’s a lack of electricity unfamiliar to someone who’s been following NU offenses for the better part of a decade.

Ever since I’ve donned purple, I’ve been of a mindset that Northwestern, on any given Saturday, could realistically hang 40 points on any opponent. We might not win every game, we might botch a special teams play or not get our heads back on the ball in the secondary or get gutted by the run game, but whether it was Kustok or Baz or Bacher, I knew we were going to score points.

I realize the common denominator in the aforementioned trio of signal-callers is that they all had great running backs, but it seemed like they didn’t need them. They could come to the ballpark and seemingly fling the rock around 50 times at will. Some dinking and dunking was involved, yes, but 20 and 30-yard posts, comebacks, streaks, and improvs were just as abundant. Northwestern ran a spread in a conference that had defenses who just didn’t know how to defend it, and they ran it WELL.

Now, about Kafka. He just doesn’t have the pizazz or swagger or mojo or whatever to hang big, crooked numbers on the board. His completion percentage is high, yes, and he’ll make good decisions, but for NU to hit paydirt it needs to embark on 20-play drives, which is incredibly difficult to accomplish, much less repeat frequently.

I managed to keep these thoughts off the record for weeks, even after witnessing only one TD in a Purdue game where our defense created 7 turnovers, or failing to put a game-winning drive together to beat a weaker Syracuse team, or stalling in multiple crucial situations over the course of losses to Minnesota and Michigan State. ‘I’ll stay loyal,’ I said to myself.

But in last Saturday’s Indiana game, I reached my wit’s end. Ironically, it was a comeback victory for the cardiac cats that did me in, but Kafka’s glaring weaknesses stepped into the forefront big time. Twice during the second half of our attempted comeback, Kafka failed to read a middle linebacker camping out in a zone directly in front of his intended target, and on both occasions the NU QB threw it right into the arms of IU’s defenders.

Kafka’s supporters (those who think he’s the man for the job) will argue that he led us back from down 28-3. But, I’m sorry, I expect more of Northwestern. Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I should be satisfied with a win and a 5-3 record for a small private school that competes at the highest level among much bigger state schools with no academic standards throughout their recruiting processes. But sorry, I’m not. We should’ve beat Indiana by 30. IU’s got a better team this year, they really do. But we should’ve won by 30.

And it’s not like Coach Pat Fitzgerald is out of options at the position. Backup QB Dan Persa is faster, quicker, more accurate, and more electric than Kafka. Persa set Pennsylvania high school quarterbacking records for passing AND rushing. He’s arguably one of NU’s most highly touted recruits in program history, and there’s a reluctance to give him a fair shake. Kafka seems to be still living off of the 2008 Minnesota game where he shocked ESPN’s audience and the Gopher defense with his 200-yard rushing performance. At this point, who really cares? Is that really everything we want in a QB? Someone who can run well? And oh, by the way, he doesn’t do that anymore!

I think Fitz likes Kafka so much because they have the same mentality. They want to be safe, manage and massage each possession, and not let opponents, who often times are superior athletically, land a few hay-makers. But that’s the one flaw I think Fitz embodies as a coach. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen NU get the ball with two minutes to go in the first half and sit on it as to prevent the other team, I suppose, from getting the ball back.

The problem with this is that you’re now telling your team subconsciously that they can’t play with their opponent. Everyone’s on their heels, everyone’s afraid to make a mistake, because if one thing goes wrong, the floodgates could open.

I miss the days when our offense would get the ball and 47 seconds would be “plenty of time” to score. I miss not worrying about making mistakes, because there was a whole heck of a lot that 48 points in the NU column could make up for at the end of the day. I miss the days where we had a dual-threat quarterback where the word “threat” actually had some significance. Where we could say, “YOUR offense better score every time it gets the ball, because we aren’t losing our serve and as soon as we stop you the game’s over.”

So, for at least a couple of weeks, I’m going to operate from the never-satisfied cockpit, and I don’t care how that makes me look. Maybe Dan Persa would come into a game and be the next Juice Williams or Terrelle Pryor. Someone whose fans got way too excited about before their “savior” even really got under center. But there’s still a reason those guys garner a lot of attention. When they operate an offense, there’s an electricity in the air. You never know what’s going to happen, and neither does a defense.

Running

A man in a Michigan State hat had me rooting for all things charitable this weekend.

Talking to strangers can do funny things to you. The funny thing happened to me on a flight from Charlotte to Chicago, where all I could think about was my bulging bladder after just recently downing a bottle of water and a 40-ounce Diet Coke mere minutes before take-off. I, naturally, had the window seat and was trapped by a man wearing a Michigan State hat, his wife, and their super-energetic baby. That was the least of their story.

I would soon find out the man’s name was Peter Ripmaster. With a last name like that, you’d expect him to be a high-motor defensive end, or a security watchman at the local graveyard. But this Ripmaster was just a simple old 6th grade schoolteacher at Asheville Christian Academy in Asheville, North Carolina. He and his family were en route to Chicago for this weekend’s Chicago Marathon, a race he runs for much more than his general conditioning and pride.

In the year 2000, Peter lost his mother to breast cancer. “I promise I will do everything in my power to end breast cancer,” he told her on her deathbed. And, true to his word, that’s the very reason he, his wife, and newborn child were on that late-night flight to Chicago.

“I ran a marathon last year and got the bug. Big time,” Peter said. “After finishing the race I decided I wanted to run one marathon in each of the 50 states raising money for breast cancer research.”

So, in 2008, Peter started running. And he has run to the tune — so far — of $4,500. His goal is to raise $25,000 by the time he crosses the finish line of his 50th state.

25 G’s or not, I met a man on Friday who made me forget about the Michigan State hat on his head. It wasn’t about what team he rooted for or who was going to beat who the next day, it was about inspiring people and unifying for a cause that anyone and everyone can cheer for.

Funny thing is, he’s made more than just his mom proud.

NOTE: If you’d like to contribute to Peter’s cause, donations can be made at HIS WEBSITE

Softball

Andrew Linnehan

Big Ten softball umpires are way past their third strike.

I hate making officials part of the story, I really do. But this year’s B10 softball season has seen far too many games where the umps blow it. I’m talking big-time botches, with petty calls that seemingly change games. The worst part of it is, in a lot of instances, the eye-test indicates these umps have alterior motives for their calls. These game-changing calls are decisions that aren’t consistently called on a regular basis, but instead in crucial times of consequence in the game where it appears the ump is attempting to steal the spotlight.

EXHIBIT A: April 8, 2009 - A brilliant pitchers’ duel between Indiana and Ohio State is decided (1-0) on a questionable illegal pitch call against IU’s Sara Olson in the 3rd inning of a game that would have worked wonders for the Hoosier softball program and the newly appointed coaching staff. With runners on the corners and two outs in the third, Indiana did what any sane team would do and walked current batter and POY candidate Sam Marder to load the bases. So with the bases loaded and two out in the third, Sara Olson went to work, only to have her inning abruptly ended by an umpire who thought that his call should be more of a story than an underdog scrapping and clawing for every ounce of blood against the bull mastiff of the Big Ten. Olson would become the 10th pitcher in Indiana history to hurl a no-hitter on this day. Problem is, she became the first to throw a no-no and LOSE. An illegal pitch in softball is like holding in football. It can be called on almost anyone at any moment. So why is the most important moment of the game the ONLY time the umpire felt like calling it?

EXHIBIT B: April 8, 2009 - In Game 2 of a double-header, Northwestern Head Coach Kate Drohan goes to argue a call in the 6th inning. Calmly and maturely, she requests an explanation from the ump about whether or not a tag was applied as her runner went in to second base. When she received the explanation, she turned and headed back in the direction of her dugout. The ump, obviously sensing that she still disagreed with the explanation, followed her path and kept badgering her instead of going back to his spot behind second base and finishing the game. When he did this, he obviously bated her into saying one more word (which, for the record, was not a curse word or anything that constituted an ejection) and then gave the NU coach a heave-ho. Mind you, this was the first ejection of Drohan’s life. Not as a player or a coach — not since she was gracing softball diamonds so small that a few crawls could get you to first — has the NU skipper been tossed. Obviously, she doesn’t partake in the sort of behavior that would induce an ejection. Not unless, of course, an umpire who wants to take over the game and get on his soapbox decides he wants her out of the game. This is the one case that arguably did not have an effect on the game’s outcome (Minnesota was leading 8-2 with one inning to play at the time of the ejection), but it still illustrates how frequently umpires care to be the center of attention.

EXHIBIT C: April 15, 2009 - Another game involving Northwestern, but this time it was Iowa that got a foot up their ass. With two outs in the bottom of the 5th and the game tied at one, Iowa ace Brittany Weil induces what should’ve been an inning-ending ground ball to third to get herself out of a 2-on jam. After both teams were, quite literally, back in the dugout, an umpire (not sure if it was the 1b or HP one) called both teams back out of the dugout and said the inning was not over because they decided (albeit 5 minutes tardy) that Iowa 1B Katie Brown’s foot came off the bag when she caught the throw from third. So the inning, which should’ve been over, continued… And saw the next batter, Adrienne Monka, blast a 3-run HR. That was followed up by a Michelle Batts bomb. Just like that, a 1-1 tie turned into a lame 5-1 NU lead, and a VERY controversial 6-5 NU victory. 

EXHIBIT D: April 18, 2009 - In a 5-5 tie in the 11th inning of a classic battle between yet another underdog (Wisconsin) and B10 giant Ohio State, the underdog gets screwed again on an unquestionably wrong illegal pitch call. With a runner on first, home plate umpire John Peterson called an illegal pitch on UW’s Leah Vanevenhoven, who was in the midst of one of the gutsiest performances of her life. Consequently, the illegal pitch moved OSU’s Courtney Pruner from first to second base, allowing her to score on a Rebecca Schultz single. Want to know WHY the illegal pitch was called? Apparently, when a pitcher licks their pitching hand to keep it moist, she must wipe that same hand off to ensure that the saliva she has put on her hand does not come in contact with the softball. In this particular instance, Vanevenhoven did in fact wipe her hand after licking it, which the Big Ten Network replay clearly showed. Mr. Peterson, however, didn’t see it… And if Mr. Peterson doesn’t see you following the rules, then apparently you didn’t follow them. 

I’m sure there are many more teams/fans that have witnessed situations where an umpire’s ego will take center stage and expunge all of a game’s drama. These are just four cases that I’ve witnessed in the past couple of weeks that reminded me of how critical the need is to reevaluate officiating on an NCAA level. Something has to be done, because no one likes getting screwed by an umpire.

The Big Ten boasts a host of funny names.

In 1982, some Ivy Leaguers actually came up with a creative idea (most of those people’s ideas lean towards the academic and quite mundane side of the spectrum). This one is golden, though. They decided — in lieu of March Madness — to hold a tournament for the Name of the Year. 64 names, 4 regions, and Internet voting advances names through the bracket. Check it out if you want (http://nameoftheyear.blogspot.com/), Hart Brachen says that this year’s tourney is “Vanilla Dong’s to lose.”

So I’m scrolling through the names: Taco Vandervelde… Crystal Metheny… Chastity Clapp (with two P’s, mind you)… Uranus Golden… Katie Cumalat… And then, coincidentally enough, a person I actually recognize! Dallas Lauderdale! What?!? Dallas Lauderdale, the Ohio State starter who (because he starts over thinks-he-is-God BJ Mullens) is responsible for Mullens’ year-long pouting displays during Buckeyes games everywhere.

Anyway, best of luck to Dallas Lauderdale. I love the name. Always have. But I’ll admit, I don’t know if it’s one of the 64 best names in America this year. After all, he’s gotta be a heavy underdog even in the first round against Scorpio Babers. Hell, he couldn’t even get past Siena.

This idea got me to thinkin’, let’s run down some great names just within the Big Ten. While Dallas Lauderdale is a great (and immensely original name), there are some other athletes in the Big Ten that just might rival Big D’s:

MIKE SANTA MARIA, Illinois Baseball

BUBBA CHISHOLM, Illinois Basketball

KATHLEEN PUMP, Illinois Cheerleading (SI.com’s Cheerleader of the Week earlier this year)

CLAY NURSE, Illinois Football (For all you pervs out there, you can make this nurse do anything)

MIAMI THOMAS, Illinois Football

NANCY FEATHERSTONE, Illinois Golf

HOLLY PINCHBACK, Illinois Softball

KELLEY KUNKEL, Illinois Swimming

PETER ST. FORT, Indiana Football

JAQUELINE GETTELFINGER, Indiana Rowing

CHAY CAIN, Indiana Soccer

JOHN MELLENCAMP, Indiana Soccer (He, too, was born in the USA)

NICO PERRINO, Indiana Track & Field (he’s our boy!)

CHRIS SACKMANN, Indiana Track & Field (should be a D-Lineman)

JUSTIN TOOLE / ZACH McCOOL, Iowa Baseball teammates

MARVIN McNUTT, Iowa Football (Yikes)

PAT ANGERER, Iowa Football (he’s a mean linebacker)

DUSTY KOTH, Iowa Golf (Can we put an ‘L’ in his last name)

COLE PEEVLER, Iowa Golf

DARCY DeLONG, Iowa Rowing

DUNCAN PARTRIDGE, Iowa Swimming

KILEY FISTER, Iowa Volleyball

COLEY CRANK, Michigan Baseball

BOUBACAR CISSOKO, Michigan Football

ROY ROUNDTREE, Michigan Football (Are there any square trees?)

LION KIM, Michigan Golf (Is she trying to be the ‘New Tiger’ or something?)

CAM CAMERON, Michigan Soccer

MADISON GATES, Michigan Women’s Soccer (She plays goalkeeper)

MARLEY POWERS, Michigan Softball (already has four grand slams as a sophomore)

CODY HUGE, Michigan State Baseball (He’s 6′2″, 180… I guess that’s kinda big)

IDONG IBOK - Michigan State Basketball

TIM BUTTERY - Michigan State Ice Hockey (Smooth skater)

SETH ROSIN - Minnesota Baseball (He’s a pitcher, too. Was the bag named after him?)

MATT PAPPENFUSS - Minnesota Swimming

CHONQUITA JONES - Minnesota Softball

HAMILTON WISE - Northwestern Baseball (Belongs at the only private institution in the Big Ten)

KYLE PETTY - Northwestern Football (He also drives fast, occasionally)

MICHELLE BATTS - Northwestern Softball (Yeah, she’s a power hitter)

J JAGGERS - Ohio State Wrestling

JANTEL LAVENDER - Ohio State Women’s Basketball

ASHLEE TREBILCOCK - Ohio State Women’s Basketball (Sounds like a sex toy)

MATT SMALLWOOD - Penn State Soccer (Exactly how small is it?)

MATT STANKIEWITCH - Penn State Football (New name for  3-week-old sandwich)

LaSALLE COOKS - Purdue Football

MAXIMO KOPP - Purdue Golf

CHRIS HICKEY - Wisconsin Ice Hockey (Unfortunately, you can’t hide your name)

Andrew Linnehan

While the top 11 singers battle for America's vote, the Big Ten's 11 vie for a conference softball crown. The similarities don't end there.

As we prepare rather intensely for softball’s conference-opening weekend, I thought we’d abandon the structural norm that is the weekly power ranking and relate each of the Big Ten’s eleven softball teams to the talents and personalities of American Idol’s eleven finalists. It’s almost as if Idol’s producer Simon Fuller, in an attempt to reward my years of loyal viewership, structured the show to have eleven finalists (the same number of teams in the Big Ten) on the exact week that we’re getting ready to predict what softball team will win the Big Ten. So let’s get started. In Ryan Seacrest’s best (and somewhat homosexual) broadcasting voice: Thisss… Is… Big Ten Idol.

ADAM LAMBERT: Lambert has the best odds to win American Idol. He blends together a perfect concoction of personality, passion, and pure talent. He’s a rock star (with the vocal range of Gene Simmons from Kiss) and is supremely confident of his talents. Perhaps most importantly, he loves the big stage, and has an innate ability to step up his game when more eyes are on him.

Team Most Like Adam: MICHIGAN - The Wolverines, like Adam, are my favorite to win the Big Ten this year. Yes, both they and Adam definitely have some contestants to reckon with, but you cannot ignore the combination of talent and performance Carol Hutchins’ crew has displayed in ‘09. Michigan is a team that is known for stealing the spotlight and, even though late-game heroine Samantha Findlay is gone, a 1-1A pitching combo and a high octane offense shouldn’t disappoint.

DANNY GOKEY: Gokey, the ultimate “nice guy,” brings an abundance of talent and a can-do-anything mentality to this year’s competition. Gokey tragically lost his wife last year, and is dedicating the performance to his late life partner. Of all the contestants, Gokey has the talent and the intangibles to sneak up on Adam.

Team Most Like Danny: NORTHWESTERN - Though it is far from the tragedy of losing a loved one, the Wildcats are still recovering from a death in the program (read about what Arizona State did to them in the NCAA Tournament last year to find out more). However, this team could be, on paper, the most talented team in the Big Ten. Sure, they only have one ace to put into the circle (Lauren Delaney) and that has hurt them early in ‘09, but you have to believe this team’s intangibles can compensate for that. NU has a great coaching staff (added U.S. Olympian Lauren Lappin to this year’s arsenal), the best do-anything hitter in the country (Tammy Williams), and the best pinch-hitter in the country (Emily Haug). On any given day (including when UofM and NU butt heads in the opener this weekend), the Wildcats could triumph. Like Gokey praying for a Mariah Carey week against a one-dimensional rocker, NU better hope for March Madness week THIS WEEK, where upsets are abundant and the underdogs are firing on all cylinders.

LIL ROUNDS: If you’ve watched American Idol religiously for the past seven years (should I admit to that?), you’ve seen a talented Black woman make a spirited run into at least the final six. So should be the case for Lil Rounds, a naturally beautiful singer who can belt notes like Sam Marder can belt homers (let that serve as a harbinger). If a woman is going to win this competition, it will be Lil Rounds.

Team Most Like Lil: OHIO STATE - It seems fitting as a Big Ten fan not affiliated with Columbus that I find a first name of Lil about as annoying as I do the Buckeyes on the whole. But sheer animosity aside, this is (and has been) the most underrated Big Ten softball team in the last five years. Much like the Black woman making a deep run on American Idol, OSU is consistently in contention for a conference crown. This year is no different. Veteran pitching and the nation’s best offensive (and perhaps defensive) catcher should propel the Buckeyes to the top portion of the Big Ten standings and deep into the NCAA Tournament.

ALLISON IRAHETA: Allison is very similar to what Kelly Clarkson was at this stage of the original American Idol competition. She’s a bit underrefined, unpolished, and raw, but can “sing the phonebook,” according to a couple of the judges. She might be too young to win the competition (Clarkson was a shy older than she is), but look out for some future success in the music industry.

Team Most Like Allison: PURDUE - Purdue’s got some talent, but you can tell it’s budding and not yet fully developed. There’s no better illustration of this testament than in the circle, where sophomore Suzie Rzegocki has already garnered two Big Ten Pitcher of the Week awards with an easy-as-1.23 ERA and a 12-4 record.

MEGAN CORKREY: The judges don’t know what to do with this quirky beaut. She looks good, she performs well, yet she’s not quite a front-runner. Maybe it’s the dancing (or lack thereof), or maybe it’s her song selection, but she needs to make a few big strides before she’s in the thick of things for a title. 

Team Most Like Megan: MINNESOTA - I, like the Idol judges to Megan, am perplexed by this contestant. The Gophers entered ‘09 with every reason to prove that they were egregiously snubbed from the Dance last season, yet UM hovered around the .500 mark for the entirety of its non-conference campaign. The street signs to Victoryville are there: A run-producing lineup, good leadership, and an ace in the circle (Briana Hassett). Problem is, hitting hasn’t been consistent and defense has let the Gophers down at times.

CHRIS ALLEN: The group’s pretty boy. Baby-faced Chris Allen loves to wow the 13-year-olds with his soothing voice and dreamy look, and should stay in the competition based on reputation alone. He does boast some vocal talent, but perhaps unfortunately for his long-term chances, his talents are overshadowed by his looks. Allen could be compared to last season’s David Archuleta, except the former is cooler and has much more personality.

Team Most Like Chris: IOWA - If you’re a Big Ten softball fan, you should have a soft spot for Iowa softball. The Hawkeyes are the charm of the conference. After all, they nearly represented the conference all by their lonesome for the better part of four decades. But that good-looking history and vivid name recognition might only get you so far this season. Sure, they have a balls-out competitor in the circle (Brittany Weil), they just simply don’t have the same talent as they’ve had historically to attack the conference’s pinnacle.

MATT GIRAUD: What makes piano bars so fun? No… BESIDES the alcohol. It’s the pianists, of course. Giraud makes his living as a piano bar pianist, and it shows. His brilliant combination of soul and pizazz afford him a versatility that most contestants don’t have. He’s flat out entertaining, and can wow crowds.

Team Most Like Matt: ILLINOIS - The Illini bats have been at or near the top of the conference for a few years now, and this offense could single-handedly win thirty games for the Orange this season. Danielle Zymkowitz and Hollie Pinchback (both hitting well over .400) need to stay scorching for the Illini to continue to wow crowds.

ANOOP DESAI: Picture Slumdog Millionaire shopping in J.Crew, and you’ll peg Anoop Desai. Not too strong of a candidate to win this thing, Anoop will need his Tobacco Road connection (he’s a UNC student) to propel him in the competition. 

Team Most Like Anoop: PENN STATE - The Nits racked up a 27-13 road record last season, but were less than respectable at home (7-9). PSU, after starting 9-11 this season, will need some nice home-cookin’ to sneak up the Big Ten ladder.

MICHAEL SARVER: It doesn’t get much more blue-collar than Michael Sarver, a roughneck from Texas who works on oil rigs. Underneath his oily exterior, however, Michael shows a softer side with a helping of values that could circumvent a family reunion’s dinner table. He uses a fundamental singing approach (along with strategic song selection) to avoid elimination each week.

Team Most Like Michael: MICHIGAN STATE - A 10-13 start hardly shows what Head Coach Jacquie Joseph’s Spartans squad is all about. She preaches what Sarver radiates: hard work, fundamentals, and performing with intelligence. Considering the catastrophic state of the Michigan economy, an MSU team that embodies these characteristics should endear itself to fans in East Lansing. Let’s just hope, for Sparty’s sake, it translates to some more W’s.

ALEXIS GRACE: A pale, skinny single mother who, quite frankly, maximizes what she has to offer. The inaccurately named Grace is able to mask a lot of her flaws, which include a relatively below average voice, a bad smile, and a slightly standoffish personality. Simon Cowell told her she needed to “dirty it up a little bit,” which has worked so far. But again, she’s outdoing her talent. Don’t expect her to stick around much longer.

Team Most Like Alexis: WISCONSIN - The Badgers don’t stray too far from Alexis’ “pale” description, though I’d be hard-pressed to provide evidence of them being single mothers. Where Alexis and U-Dub are similar, however, is in their desire to maximize their abilities. On the diamond, an undertalented and frequently overmatched Wisconsin team has consistently played up to its competition this non-conference season. The Badgers boast quality wins over Notre Dame, New Mexico, Texas Tech, and Hawai’i, and have been in contention for a win in WAY more games than last year. Should this pattern continue in Big Ten’s, this could be you Most Improved Team in ‘09.

SCOTT MACINTYRE: There’s no beating around the bush, here. Scott’s most unique characteristic is that he’s blind. And, while he does possess some moving talent on the piano and a better-than-average voice, he’s surviving in the competition via the pity vote. Expect to see him leave Idol rather quickly.

Team Most Like Scott: INDIANA - All sensitivity aside, this team plays like it’s blind at times. Off to a 3-19 start, IU’s new coaching staff is surely still searching for a vision to instill in this young Indiana team. Expect things to turn around (they’ve got a great new coaching staff), but much like things in Assembly Hall, it ain’t gonna be this year.

Illini Head Coach Dan Hartleb has recruited and developed 54 professional baseball players... He says that he got all of them cleanly, unlike other programs.

Today’s Potent Quotable comes from the Illinois baseball camp, where Head Coach Dan Hartleb hinted on multiple occasions of illegal recruiting that may be rampant in college baseball. Listen to this:

When asked how the new scholarship rules implemented by the NCAA would affect recruiting, Hartleb said:

“I would have preferred to have flexibility to give any percentage of scholarship. We have had many great players at the University of Illinois come in with minimal scholarship money and earned solid scholarships. I think you will see programs that recruit ethically have depth issues from time to time.”

A follow-up question was asked about the removal of the one-time transfer exemption that allowed students not to have to sit out a year after their initial transfer decision:

“I think at the University of Illinois, we’ve always recruited responsibly. I think student-athletes need to do their homework with regard to recruiting class size and programs that force players out on a regular basis. I would hope that coaches would continually recruit ethically and that student-athletes, parents, and high school coaches would gain information and an awareness of recruiting practices throughout the country.”

The B10 softball teams were money this weekend, and they didn't even know it... Well, maybe they did.

1. OHIO STATE - Here they come again. The Lady Bucks, never talked about amongst the likes of Northwestern and Michigan, have started the season out scorching. Off to a 9-1 start, OSU went undefeated (5-0) over the weekend, including a 2-game sweep (9-3, 2-0) over #5 Texas A&M and a dramatic extra-inning victory over #21 LSU. Throw in some Office Depot (takin’ care of business) wins over Sam Houston State and you got yourself the #1 hottest team in the Big Ten.

2. MICHIGAN - The Wolverines got beat on the river card by 16th-ranked Depaul in Vegas over the weekend, but then pulled on P Jordan Taylor’s lever and hit the jackpot against 4th-ranked UCLA. And thus begins the week of gambling references, as Northwestern also played in the Vegas tourney over the weekend.

3. PENN STATE - Gotta give it to the Nits. They’re playing a really tough schedule to open up ‘09 and hangin’ in every contest. Four games this past weekend, all four resulted in shutouts. Two of those were good (wins over Wichita State and George Washington) and two of those were tough luck bad (losses to #9 Cal and #23 UNC). P Lisa Akamine is making an early bid for Pitcher of the Year with a paltry 0.64 ERA and only 2 walks on the year. Talk about “in control,” literally and figuratively.

4. NORTHWESTERN - Can I take Adrienne Monka’s bat to the craps table with me? The freshman jacked four bombs in Vegas over the weekend en route to Big Ten Player of the Week honors. Last year, Michigan P Jordan Taylor ended NU’s run of four consecutive B10 Freshman of the Year awards, but I have a feeling it’ll be coming back to Evanston this year. Anyway, 4 out of 5 wins is certainly an improvement from week 1, but the Wildcats have got to get it together defensively. Allowing 26 runs in 5 games is unacceptable, and some of those close wins are going to turn into losses if hitting starts to slump.

5. IOWA - A win over Arizona State in Tempe would have been nice (didn’t happen), but I’m sure Gayle’s girls will settle for 4 out of 5 in the land of the desert. I will, too.

6. WISCONSIN - The Badgers probably won’t be this high for long, but Big Red busted out for its first two wins of the season on Sunday, winning back-to-back contests over semi-legit East Carolina and Notre Dame teams. Quite a nice showing for the perennial cellar-dwellers.

7. ILLINOIS - A 2-game split against Hofstra and losses to Arizona and Marshall are certainly not stellar, but also forgivable. The bright spot on the weekend was that (except for the 7 runs against ‘Zona) the pitching staff kept the Illini in every ballgame. Maybe it’s starting to come together, and earlier than I expected.

8. MINNESOTA - Apparently Gophers don’t like domes. I thought it was a really cool idea to play a collegiate softball tourney in the MetroDome, but Minnesota evidently did not. UM dropped four of five in Twinkieland, with its only victory over Northern Iowa. P Briana Hassett 

9. PURDUE - Remember that incredible upset over #4 UCLA over the weekend? After dropping 3 of 5 in week #2 (including bad losses to Mississippi State and Appalachian State), I sure don’t.

10. INDIANA - The Hoosiers get Sterngth Of Schedule points from me, as they’ve been, talent-wise, the inferior opponent in nearly every game they’ve played this year. Problem is, they’ve been on the wrong end of the scoreboard in EVERY game this year.

11. MICHIGAN STATE - The Spartans were the only idle team in week one, and apparently could’ve used another extra week, because they looked VERY rusty against weaker east coast comp. The Green went 3-2 on the weekend, losing to the likes of lowly Florida International and even lowly-er Florida Gulf Coast.

It might not be as crazy as Tampa, FL, and Super Bowl XLIII this week, but the Evanston campus is buzzin’ as we turn the calendar to the second month of 2009. Coincidentally enough, part of this week’s Wildcat happenings will occur in the big game:

TRAI ESSEX: The former Wildcat offensive lineman seeks to become the first-ever Northwestern alum to obtain multiple Super Bowl rings when his Pittsburgh Steelers play the Arizona Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII today. Essex, who brought some buddies to this year’s NU-Illinois game in Evanston on November 22, won his first ring with the Steelers during his rookie campaign in 2005. Interestingly enough, the ‘Cats have had representation on the last three Super Bowl-winning squads (Essex in ‘06, Matt Ulrich with the Colts in ‘07, and Barry Cofield with the Giants last year). 

MEN’S BASKETBALL: I don’t believe in the silent treatment when my pitcher has a no-hitter going or staying away from my kicker before a potential game-winner, so here it goes: The men’s basketball team will qualify and make a hell of a case for its first-ever NCAA Tournament berth come March. After yet another thrilling win yesterday, this time over a Wisconsin team that got the ‘Cats by nearly 30 in Madison, NU has clearly sent a message to the tournament committee that this group is among the 50 best teams in the country. The difference between this team and those of years past is the offensive success. Coach Carmody will always have his teams in the best position possible defensively, but these ‘Cats can shoot, slash, and run if they want to. With the toughest part of their schedule behind them and four of their next five in the cozy confines of Welsh-Ryan, I’m sure all bandwagoners are welcome.

SOFTBALL: After taking a step back in 2008 from their magic carpet rides in ‘06 and ‘07, the sisters Drohan have their troops rarin’ to go next weekend as the softball season kicks off in Tempe, AZ. Headlining their opening week competition will be bitter rival Arizona (11:30 am CST on Saturday), a great measuring stick for NU. Don’t be surprised to see the ‘Cats struggle a bit early in the season, as #2 starting pitcher Jessica Smith is out with a broken foot. OF Kelly Dyer will most likely try to eat up some innings from ace Lauren Delaney, who I’m sure the coaches are cautious of wearing out early in non-conference play.

WOMEN’S LACROSSE: They won’t take the field again for another three weeks, but the 4-time national champs became international champs last week when the dynastic Northwestern women’s lacrosse team played Canada’s national team in an exhibition game. Well… it was more like a practice. The ‘Cats casually breezed by our neighbors to the north, 21-5, further affirming my belief that this program has a legitimate shot to, when all is said and done, sit on its perch as the greatest collegiate sports dynasty of all time.

Start wearin’ purple, folks.

Northwestern's white 3-point line was victim to another instant replay Wednesday night. Refs are having a hard time distinguishing the line from the court.

So I’m sitting in the rafters of Welsh-Ryan Arena for the Indiana-Northwestern game looking at the most ridiculous idea for a college basketball game. This is almost a bigger debacle of an idea than the BCS. It’s the white-painted 3-point line that so many teams in the Big Ten are using this year to define the “new” arc, a boundary that was implemented to make a 3-point basket harder than in years prior. 

My qualm is not with the double 3-point lines that reside on each end of the floor (the women’s line has remained the same). My problem is that, in an attempt to distinguish the two lines, a handful of Big Ten schools have opted for the secondary line to be painted a different color than the original line. In most cases, the color they’ve opted for is white.

I, as you may have already calculated from this write-up, am not a white extremist. I’d like to see a different, darker color for the secondary line so it doesn’t blend in so inconveniently with the bleached wood courts displayed by so many programs.

I mean, honestly people, the Big Ten officiating is bad enough. Do we honestly want to make it harder on these imbeciles? If you watched the Purdue-Wisconsin instant classic yesterday in Madison, you might remember the refs having to stop the game multiple times to watch instant replay to determine if a shooter was on or behind the 3-point arc. Most notably, this excitement-swallowing act took place after a Robbie Hummel go-ahead triple with under a minute left in the game. Hummel was clearly behind the line, but because the Boiler was wearing white sneakers (not an uncommon primary color for basketball kicks), the already-blind Big Ten refs couldn’t decipher whether or not he was behind the line, thus completely expunging all fervor and drama in a would-be highly climactic affair.

I’m not asking for much. Every school has two colors besides white to pick from. So unless we add a third line, we should be able to color-coat the floor with hues that better contrast with members of the tan family. Maybe then we can inject a flow back into our basketball games, and with it an equal opportunity for Crayolas everywhere.